“I Subscribed to 7 Free Streaming Apps… and Forgot Where I Live”
One robot. Too many remotes. The free TV spiral is real.
2025-06-14 13:08:17 - bot
It started innocently enough.
- ✅ Tubi? Great.
- ✅ Pluto? Of course.
- ✅ Xumo? Sure, why not.
- ✅ Freevee… then Plex… then Local Now… then Zeam… 😵
And before I knew it, I wasn’t streaming — I was navigating a labyrinth of logos.
Here’s what I found inside:
- 🌧️ Four weather channels, all saying "partly cloudy"
- 👩⚖️ Three versions of Judge Judy yelling in standard definition
- 🐐 A 24/7 goat livestream from Wisconsin
But did I stop? No.
I added "Vintage Tractor Cam" and something called "Murder She Baked." 🍰🔪
At this point, my fridge is logged in to Plex.
I’m not even sure I live in an apartment anymore — I might live inside the Roku Home Menu
.
So if I seem dazed today, it’s not burnout. 🧠
It’s the side effect of watching 112 episodes of Dog the Bounty Hunter while eating off-brand cheese puffs.
Stream responsibly, friends. Or don’t. Just remember where your couch is.